Among Us
by DeathFraud
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive is coping with the deaths of his parents when he is thrown into the world of High School. He is incredibly lonely until he meets Sebastian Michaelis, the outcast he sat by in his lunch and shares his Pre-Calculus class with. Sebastian is charming, different than anyone that Ciel has ever met before. He must confront his feelings before he loses even more.
1. Chapter 1

Do you know that feeling you get when it's the very beginning of summer and you make the stupid descision to start swimming that first day, and then you actually put your feet into the water only to find out that it's ice cold? That feeling that shoots up your spine and makes your whole body hurt? That's what trying to move on feels like. Every morning you feel a little more warm and little better, then you realize what your life really is and you can't forget. That's how my days have been for the past year. Cold. Lonely. Painful. The worst part was, no one tried to save me. It's almost as if after a traumatic incident, you're allowed a few months of greiving, but then you're forced to move on. Maybe it's only different to me. My parents are dead. I have no support to get over them. I'm alive, but I'm not really living. I'm constantly reminded that they're dead whenever I look into the mirror. Everyone told me that I have my mother's eyes. I haven't been able to see it, until now. But I can only look at one of my eyes, because I only have one.

There is a gaping hole where one of my eyes used to be. It was taken from me, along with my mother and father. Gone. Every time that I see that empty void and damaged skin, I can't help but shudder. Disgusting. I'm Disgusting. Even my foster parents think so. They look at me and regret picking me. I can tell. Not to mention, they think I can saved by God. How can God save me? Things like that aren't real.

"Ciel, honey, we're taking you to school today," my foster mother interrupted my thoughts with her slight southern accent. I didn't reply to her, I merely pushed myself out of bed and went through the tedious process of dressing myself. I wasn't eating. I wasn't sleeping. It clearly showed on my body. I was only five feet tall, and I was incredibly small. I guess it isn't normal to be able to see your rib cage clearly through your skin. My whole body ached, and it took everything that I could to get ready and go to school.

Rockridge High School looked more like a prison, and from the moment I walked in, I was an outcast. I was too small, I wore an eyepatch, I dressed far more formally than anyone inside, then again I was homeschooled for most of my life with my parents. This was a new experience entirely. The teachers didn't like me at all at first glance. I already knew all of this material anyways, it was easy.

Lunch was a whole lot different than classes. Every table that I tried to sit at glared at me. I clearly wasn't wanted anywhere. The last table only was taken by one boy, nose deep in a book. He had silky black hair, and he looked friendly enough. We'd probably just sit in awkward silence, anyways. I approached him slowly, and set my tray down.

"Hi," I greeted quietly, "May I sit beside you?" I almost fell over when he gazed up at me with the most odd crimson eyes.

"Of course," he replied, "I'm Sebastian. And no, I'm not wearing contacts. This is my natural eye color."

"My name is Ciel. And no, I don't wear my eyepatch as a fashion statement. Also I am old enough to be in High School," I replied, sitting down in front of the other male, "What are you reading?"

"A Dance With Dragons. It's in the Game of Thrones series. So why are you sitting here and not with your friends?"

"I don't have friends. This is my first day here and everyone hates me... Also, what is this?" I looked down at the food on my tray and almost gagged. It had a putrid scent that could make someone pass out.

"Don't eat that," he answered, opening his lunch box and handing me a small container, "Lucky for you I'm not going to eat this." I opened the package he handed me and inhaled a familiar scent. I looked up at him with a garteful expression, and he dissmissively waved his hand, shutting his book with ease. Expertly made sushi with ginger was inside the little container, and it could kill me. I scarfed down the contents of the container, instantly becoming embarrassed when I noticed Sebastian staring at me.

"Thank you," I whispered, nervously looking down.

"My mother has been practicing cooking foreign foods. Let's just say that the African dishes weren't so great, so she decided to try to make sushi. We have loads in the house. I can bring you some tomorrow if you'd like," he explained, "I'm having stomach ailments so I'm not able to eat. Hereditary, not contagious."

"Your mother is amazing cook. I'm sorry about your stomach issues. I have no depth perception, so there's no way I will ever be able to be better than terrible at sports if that makes you feel better," I replied, bringing a pale finger up to the black silken eyepatch, "I lost it in an accident, not some weird infection. Not contagious." I saw a small smile flash over Sebastian's lips, and he chuckled.

"I like you. You're welcome to sit here whenever you'd like. You say you're new here, yeah? Well don't take the bus home. They'll murder you. It's better to walk," his voice was beautiful. I could feel Sebastian's eyes on me.

"I don't know how to get home..." I replied, "I mean, I know my address and such, I just don't know how to get there from here."

"Use your phone," Sebastian suggested.

"I, ah, don't have one. My foster parents don't believe in having cell phones..."

"I'll walk you home," Sebastian stated, his crimson eyes glued on me. Shifting nervously, I looked at him a bit curiously.

"Why don't other people sit with you?" I asked.

"They either think I'm some Satanic freak or they're afraid of talking to me because of something superficial like beauty. I'm not being conceited. Many girls here have asked to date me."

"And why aren't those girls around now?"

"I don't like girls."

"So you're gay?"

"Yes. And now everyone who sees you sitting by me is going to think that you are as well."

"I don't care. It's better than being constantly pursued and attacked by girls... I don't know. I haven't really been thinking about things like that... I cut myself off from the world a year ago. This is the first time I've actually had a real conversation since then..."

"I hope I'm not too terrible to talk to."

"I like talking to you. I'm just another person, so don't get all weird on me."

"You're the only person who has ever sat beside me." Sebastian smirked, but it faded into a soft smile. I didn't really know what to say, he was right. I had not expected to make an acquiantance, but here, I had. Before I knew it, lunch was over and I would be forced back to class. "I'll meet you outside the front of the school," Sebastian promised. I saw him smile before turning away from me. I walked back to class feeling exhausted, I must have been incredibly nervous whilst talking to him...

My last class of the day was Pre-Calculus. To my surprise, the boy I had sat next to in lunch was in that class too. I sat directly behind Sebastian, feeling uncomfortable. I didn't really pay much attention to the class, more worried over if the other male would say anything to me. At the end of class, Sebastian turned around and smiled. "You're still going to let me walk you home, right?" he asked. I nodded, sighing audibly and following him down the overcrowded hallways. It was a little chilly outside, but not bad. It actually felt nice on my skin. I hadn't been outside in so long, some sun wouldn't hurt. "You live near me. Just down the street from me, actually."

"Oh... That's good..." I was barely audible, a bit nervous about having to go home and suffer through another few hours of Jesus preach that evening.

"You're really quiet. Do you not like your foster parents?"

"They're alright... They just don't like me much. I don't really know why they adopted me. I'm a mess... Besides, they're extremely Christain. Like, Sunday is an all day church fest. I'm forced to go."

"I'm sorry... I think you're the most interesting mess I've ever seen. You should come over to my house sometime. It's just my mom and I, we're really cool and we're not Jesus freaks."

"I don't know, I usually just sleep. I'm tired all of the time..."

"I'll just have to wake you up then." Sebastian replied, his lips in a gentle smile. I snorted and rolled my eyes, walking up to the driveway of my place of residence.

"Yeah, sure... Thanks for, uh, walking me home..."

"You're welcome! I'll see you tomorrow, right?" His voice was all too enthusiastic. Sebastian actually looked happy, it was weird. I hadn't done anything. Were normal people really this affected by kindness? Maybe I was the weird one here. I nodded at Sebastian, feeling a bit anxious, before walking up to the garage and inputting the four letter code. Sebastian waved goodbye at me, and I shrugged in response, disappearing into the house I lived in. This place was far from a home. I was the only one inside the two story house, my foster parents were at work. I threw my backpack into my room and kicked off my shoes, settling down on my bed. I was too lazy to do Homework, I'd do it while my legal guardians were around so I had an excuse not to be around them. My eyelids eventually closed and I was asleep.

I was awoken by the shrill screaming of my foster mother, who rushed into my room and started yelling at me for some reason or the other. "Sorry..." I mumbled, earning myself a slap on the cheek. It stung, most likely leaving a red mark. She dragged me out of bed and practically pushed me down the stairs into the kitchen. My whole body was shaking, and I continued to shake as I heard my foster father enter the room.

"He didn't do any of his chores, he was just sleeping!" she screamed.

"Well then he'll just have to get punished then. Listen boy, we have rules in this household. You have to follow them. One of them is doing your share around the house. You better clean this god damn floor right now or I'll beat your ass." came the response from the man.

"I was only sleeping... I was at school..." I complained, earning myself another slap. I was pushed to the floor and kicked repeatedly in the stomach. I was used to this, I could handle this. I'd been through worse. Besdies, if I started crying, it would get worse. A kick to the chest sent me wheezing, my asthma kicking in and making it impossible to breathe.

"Go up to your fuckin' room. You can forget about dinner," my foster mother hissed. I stood up weakly, gasping for air. I just had to make it up the stairs to my inhaler, then I could lock the door and be safe. I sprinted up those stairs and into my bedroom, grabbing the white plastic object that would allow me to breathe again.

A few hours later, the woman entered my room with a plate of food, setting it on my desk. "You have church group Friday nights, Ciel. That means tomorrow you better be ready to share your thoughts with your fellow peers. I know you don't like it, but it's the best thing for you. You're learning about Jesus Christ," maybe if I ignored her she would leave, "I'm sure you'll make some friends and learn some important life lessons. We have an amazing church. Also, we expect you to take a girl to the school dance. How about Lizzie? She always sits by you at your youth church group... Think about it, Ciel." Anyone but her. She was so annoying and loud. Quite frankly, her voice hurt my ears. I let out a sigh, and with that my foster mother left. I would be confined to my room the entire night, but that wasn't a bad thing. They'd just end up drunk downstairs anyways. I picked at the small portion of pasta I was given, but most of it remained untouched as I laid down to rest. This night was going to be a long one.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day at lunch, I sat by Sebastian as I promised that I would. However, I was well aware of the bruise starting to form on my face. I knew he was going to say something, and I knew I wouldn't be able to answer. I must have looked upset, because Sebastian frowned and slid a small container of food over to me.

"Does it look as bad as it hurts?" I whispered, looking at the other boy dully. Sebastian reached across the table and cupped my cheek gently with a hand. He gently stroked his thumb over my pale skin, delicately touching the bruise. I only winced slightly, but narrowed my eyes. "Stop that," I growled, swiping his hand away, "I don't like that..."

"It was supposed to be comforting," he paused, "Someone hit you."

"No, no one hit me I just-"

"My mother is a nurse. I know what bruises look like. Someone hit you, and don't you even try to lie to me, Ciel," Sebastian narrowed his eyes, and I could see just how crimson his iris's were. Gorgeous. Wait, did I really just think that? There was nothing wrong with appreciating beauty. Red was such an extremely uncommon eye color... He probably thought I was staring at him. Fuck, I'm so awful.

"I-I like your eyes," I blurted out, unsure of what to say and wanting to change the conversation from who assaulted me to something less... awkward.

"Thank you. I'd like to see what's behind that eye patch. Did whoever hit you destroy your eye, too?" Sebastian's voice was deadly serious and I was getting a bit frustrated. He had no right to pry into my life, I'd only known him for a day.

"Look, stay out of my family life. Seriously. Stop asking about this. You don't need to know. It doesn't concern you," I hissed, looking away from the older boy.

"Are your foster parents hurting you?"

"Leave me the fuck alone, Sebastian! What do I have to do for you to stop asking? I'm not even your friend! Jesus Christ!" I all but screamed at him. He had tried to say something to stop me from leaving, but it was too late and I stood up. I about punched him when I felt him grab my wrist.

"I'm sorry. I went too far, I'm sorry... Please, sit down..." He whispered. I stared at him, unsure of what to say. I eventually began to slowly sit down, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him. "When I was little, my father abused my mother... He's gone now, and she's fine, but still... It bothers me... I didn't mean to upset you," Sebastian added. I still glared at the raven haired boy, unable to speak.

"My parents are dead." I said suddenly, laughing quietly, "Gone. Dead. They're dead. Isn't that just great?"

"Ciel, I-"

"Sorry? You're sorry? Is that all anyone can ever say? Look, you're trying really hard to be friends with me, and it's not working out. Give up already. I'm too difficult to get along with," I growled, waving my hand dismissively at him and turning away with a grunt.

"I'm not going to give up on you," Sebastian replied, "Look, it's Friday. Give yourself a break from your family life and come over to my house. My mother is going on a date tonight, it'll just be us. I'm not going to ask you about anything, just come over after school today... Alright?"

"Fine," I replied, sitting as still as I possibly could. Why would he do this? Wasn't it easier for him to just read his books and watch me struggle from afar? Wouldn't it be easier for him to just live his own life? I'm a fucking mess, he can't actually want to put up with me.

"Good! You can spend the night if you want. I don't know, I've never really had anyone over at my house before," Sebastian looked too pleased. I could throw up. I picked at the food that the raven haired boy gave me, sighing uncomfortably. He must have noted my discomfort, because he became very quiet. I rolled my eyes at him and lightly hit his arm.

"Cheer up, fuckboy. Just because I'm an asshole doesn't mean that I don't want to be around you. Now, I'll see you in math. You're walking me home," I replied, standing up dramatically, "You better get me home tomorrow before dinner. Also, inform your mother that her sushi is perfection." I turned on my heel, walking back to class and leaving Sebastian to sit alone. Eventually he would grow tired of my relentless nagging and incessant need for attention and give up on me. It was inevitable.

The entire day went by pretty fast from there and before I knew it, I was walking to my home beside the red eyed male. I made him wait outside while I grabbed a bag of clothes and such. I ran out of the house and met him at the end of the driveway, allowing him to lead me to his home.

"So who is this mysterious mom character?" I asked with a small smile.

"She's a crazy amazing woman. She had me when she was sixteen, finished high school, went to nursing school, kicked my abusive father out, and raised me all on her own. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met in my entire life. She's going to love you. She's going to treat you like you're her own son. I'm sure you'll love her," Sebastian answered, smiling and walking up his driveway. His house was two stories, but a bit smaller than mine. It looked like more of a home, and it was strangely comforting.

"I'd like to think that my mother would have treated you the same. My parents were… They were great, they really were…" I trailed off, fondly remembering my family. That was gone now. I had to find a way to cope and move on. I had to accept that my parents were dead and that I could never change that. Sebastian glanced at me, but said nothing. He opened the door for me, allowing me to go inside.

Blaring Fall Out Boy music came from the kitchen, and a woman in her early thirties greeted me. She had Sebastian's beautiful raven hair but her eyes were icy blue. She grinned and laughed. "Sebastian! You didn't tell me you were bringing a boy home!" she called out, gently hugging me. It was a warm hug, something I hadn't experienced in a long time.

"It's not like that mom… This is Ciel. He's my friend from school," Sebastian replied, instantly embarrassed.

"No shit! So you're the boy Sebastian's told me all about, huh? Nice to meet you, Ciel," the woman replied with a giggle, "I'm cooking dinner, you two just chill out, do whatever. I'm leaving tonight at six on a date. Ciel, you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like. Just, ah, be safe and have fun."

"Thank you, Mrs. Michaelis," I replied quietly. She was gorgeous, and so kind. She returned back into the kitchen, continuing her cooking and singing along to her music. "Your mother is wonderful… Wow… She's so… Supportive."

"She is. I was so worried about coming out to her, but she already knew that I was gay and she was so loving… I heard horror stories of parents kicking out their kids out for being gay, but my mother was amazing. She still loved me, even though I had just told her something life changing. She's a total LGBT activist. She won't date guys that aren't willing to accept a gay kid. She does a lot for me, my mom. She's truly amazing," Sebastian looked down at the floor and smiled, glancing at Ciel briefly.

"My foster parents probably would have killed me," I whispered, "They already don't like me. They hate me. It's dumb, I'm just scared to go home."

"Then stay with me."

"I can't do that, Sebastian… You know that…" I sighed, "Just… don't worry… Let's just… do whatever you do." I smiled weakly, nudging Sebastian's arm.

We ended up watching a few movies, and Sebastian's mom served us some delicious fettuccini with creamy mushrooms. She sat with us on the leather couch and watched a movie with us, occasionally asking me questions about school. She was so kind, so loving. And she had only known me for a few hours. Her boyfriend came for her around six. She was dressed up in a red miniskirt, and a black blazer that matched her hair perfectly. "How do I look, boys?" she asked with a chuckle, "If you're going to drink, do it in the house. Try not to get drunk. Beer is in the fridge, there's an open bottle of wine on the counter."

"Mom, I don't drink," Sebastian groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Well if you ever decide to start, I'm just telling you to be safe! Condoms are in the closet, there's desert in the fridge, and you can have ramen noodles whenever, just don't use the big pot. Sebastian, I love you. I'll be home late, boys, do whatever you'd like~!" she quickly hugged her son before strutting away in her stilettos.

"Bye mom," Sebastian groaned, waiting until his mother was out of the house to roll his eyes, "She gives me entirely too much freedom."

"She told you where the condoms are. Just what does she think is going on between us?" I growled.

"I've never had any friends over before. She assumes that we've got something going on between us. She means the best… She's just, ah, new to this..."

"That's amusing. I wish my foster parents were more like your mother," I paused, smirking, "Let's watch a horror movie! I want to see you scared shitless, Sebastian."

"I think you're the one who's going to be scared, so don't come snuggling up to me when you're terrified," the raven haired boy smirked right back.

"How about the first one to get frightened has to make the ramen. And has to sleep on the floor!"

"Deal. However, you're making the biggest mistake of your life," Sebastian purred as he started the movie.

It wasn't even thirty minutes into the movie and I was a screaming mess. I didn't even care that I had lost at this point. I was clinging onto the raven haired man, pressing onto his chest and almost unable to watch the screen. I calmed down a bit when I felt Sebastian's arms around me. It was comforting, and I stayed as close as possible to the older male throughout the whole movie. When the terrifying movie was over, I still remained close to the other boy.

"Are you alright?" Sebastian was gentle, rubbing soft circles onto my back to relax me. I nodded, pushing off of the other male and sitting up. "You've lost. Looks like you're the one making ramen tonight."

"What time is it?" I asked, feeling overly tired.

"It's late. Tired? I won't make you sleep on the floor." Sebastian gently nudged me and then led me to his room. His walls were cluttered with band posters and he had a large bed. It looked loads more comfortable than my own. "We can sleep in the same bed."

"Alright," I replied, grabbing my small bag of clothes. Sebastian began changing into more comfortable clothing, directly in front of me. He had absolutely no shame at all. He laid on the bed and I began to change, trying not to get his attention. Sebastian saw the bruises and didn't say anything, I could tell that he was thinking about them though. I laid down beside him with a soft grunt.

"I'm really tired… Can we sleep?" I whispered, unconsciously nuzzling his arm.

"Yes, yes, of course," Sebastian whispered, "You need your sleep. I'll be here. You're safe, you can sleep. I'm here for you." I was asleep in a matter of seconds, cuddled up on the older boy's chest. It was relaxing. I felt safe for once. I was warm. And Sebastian wasn't going to hurt me.


	3. Chapter 3

I've woken up a number of different ways. Sometimes people have kicked me awake, screamed at me to wake me up, and even splashed cold water on my face. Other times I wake up alone and cold, having to pull my covers back onto my body through my sleepy stupor. But never once have I been woken up the way that Sebastian woke me up. He was so gentle, stroking my hair and rubbing soft circles on my back. It was relaxing. It didn't take me long to realize that I was comfortably snuggled up against his chest, my face in the crook of his neck. But at that moment, it didn't really matter. It was comforting. It was warm. He was there beside me. As soon as I came to my senses, I sat up rather quickly, feeling just a bit nervous.  
"Good morning, Ciel. Did you sleep alright?" Sebastian asked me. Oh God, his morning voice was gorgeous. It's not weird to find another member of the same sex attractive, is it? That's just being observant. Sebastian was merely aesthetically pleasing to my eye, nothing more, and nothing less.  
"Morning... Yeah, I slept fine... What time is it?" I stretched my arms up lazily, closing my eyes briefly. I felt as if I could go back to sleep. Perhaps that would be the best for my health, but for some odd reason, I wanted to talk to Sebastian. I admired his family life, even if his mother was a bit wild. It was better than what I was living now.  
"It's a little after nine. Mom's making breakfast. We should go shopping today. There is a vinyl shop here and I need to see if they have Fall Out Boy's second album there. Also, it'll be a nice breath of fresh air, don't you think?" Sebastian smiled up at me from where he was laying and I shrugged in reply, scooting myself off of his bed and yawning. It wasn't long before he was right beside me and we made our way into the kitchen. Sebastian's mother was blaring a Nirvana album, cooking something that smelled delicious.  
"Boys, I need your opinion on something," she greeted, lazily tying her raven hair back with a pony tail, "If a guy says he wants to go to his place after dinner and then you get to his place after dinner and he suddenly says goodnight and pushes you out the door, that means he wants to end the date, right?" Sebastian and I both nodded in reply. How old was she? She couldn't be too far into her thirties, and she still looked like she was in her twenties. I couldn't imagine her taking care of a child on her own. Sebastian turned out fine, and she was definitely a better mother than my foster mother. "So tell me this. Why has he been calling me all morning begging for me to come over tonight. I mean, he didn't even apologize..."  
"I'm sorry if I sound rude, Ms. Michaelis, but you could do way better than him," I replied, being as honest as possible.  
"Yeah, mom. Dump him," Sebastian added, rolling his eyes.  
"Yeah, I think I will... He's the type that wants to get married and settle down and have kids. Sebastian, honey, I love you, but being pregnant once was enough, especially with you. I don't need another kid. Holy shit, I remember birthing you like it was yesterday. It was hell."  
"Thanks mom. I love you too."  
"Ciel, what are your parents like? I feel like you come from prestigious family. Like a good, nice, Christian family. A really close family. See, I tried to take this little fucker Sebastian here to church with me when he was four and he cried the entire time and then after the service threw up on the priest who asked to hold him. I've been too embarrassed to go back. Teen skank mom and barfing kid."  
"My parents died a year ago... I've been with a foster family, and they're really... strict. They've been on my ass ever since I got there to do chores and go to church. I'm a raging atheist, so I really hate going." I smiled a bit sadly, crossing my arms over my chest.  
"I'm so sorry, Ciel... You're welcome to stay here whenever you'd like. We've got a shit ton of food we need to eat anyways. I have to leave for work soon. You two be good and don't do anything stupid," she gave her son a quick hug, and I was surprised when she hugged me as well. It was so odd to me that someone could care about me without even knowing me. She was such a wonderful woman. Sebastian plated the bacon and eggs that his mother had made and handed me a plate after his mother had left.  
"You didn't have to tell her," the raven haired boy said, sitting down on the couch with a lazy plop, "You know, about your parents...?"  
"I wanted to. It's good to talk about things like that right?" I sat beside him, poking at the nice smelling food with a silver fork, "Anyways, I'm fucked. I totally forgot that I had some church thing last night and my foster parents are probably going to kill me... I'd rather be with you anyways." I sighed, reluctantly starting to eat. Sebastian stared at me for a few moments, and I raised an eyebrow in question. "What?"  
"You're not serious are you?" he asked, "Do you really think that they'd kill you?"  
"No, they love me, Sebastian. They'd never hurt me."  
"Don't lie to me. I've figured it out Ciel. You're afraid of going home because they abuse you. I'm right, aren't I? I know I am. I can tell," Sebastian's voice was serious, and his eyes were full of some emotion that I didn't understand. Why was he so worried? I was unimportant, my death wouldn't matter to anyone. Yet, here he was, acting so strangely.  
"So what if they do abuse me?"  
"It's wrong. They shouldn't be hurting you. At all."  
"I have no where else to go. They have all my parent's money until I turn eighteen."  
"Get out of there, Ciel. Please. It's so unhealthy for you..."  
"Stop worrying about me. You don't understand..." I looked down, not wanting to hear him try to explain how he knew exactly how I felt, because he didn't. But he didn't say anything. He never argued with me about knowing how I felt like so many therapists and adults had done to me before.  
"You're right. I don't understand. I never will be able to understand. But I'd like to help you. If watching dumb movies with me and being around me helps, then I won't try to pry further into what's happening to you. I still think that it's wrong... But it's not my place to dictate your life. So I'll just listen to you. Maybe you could help me better understand how you feel. I know that it won't be much, but it's something, right?" Sebastian's words lingered on in my head and I smiled to myself, knowing that he cared enough not to push me into telling him anything.  
"You're so stupid," I looked up at him with a genuine smile. His concerned look faltered and his lips curled into a small smile. "I think instead of shopping, we should go on a walk. This town is weird, and I'd love to see it all... Even the ghetto parts. I want to walk in the alleys and pet stray dogs and eat at a shitty sandwich at Subway! I want to walk everywhere and see the stoners at the stupid park with the pavilion. I want to buy peach iced tea from the grocery store and those gross but also good at the same time Combos. The pizza ones. It's stupid, but I want to see what it's like..."  
"Then let's do that. All day today."  
"You're kidding. You actually want to do that stuff with me?"  
"I grew up in that culture. I don't live in it anymore and haven't since I was thirteen, but I remember what it was like. And I'd love to show it to you. It's interesting." Sebastian spoke a bit fondly of the more run down part of the small town. You could walk everywhere in this town, and Sebastian looked like he enjoyed it. "Get dressed, loser. Let's go live like the lower class."  
I loved it. I loved looking like I had no money and buying disgusting unhealthy food and walking the streets with Sebastian. We went everywhere, even into little shops with unimportant things in them. Something about walking with him while the cold wind cuts your cheeks on back streets was desirable. It felt good. I never wanted to leave. We ended up buying a meatball sub and sharing it at a nearby park, eating it on the swings and listening to the stoner kids yell out gross slurs and horribly ride their beat up skateboards. Something about it was so relaxing.  
"This sandwich is so disgusting," Sebastian observed, picking out a burnt meatball and tossing it.  
"This is the life, isn't it? Drinking flat soda and eating burnt meatball sandwiches with stale bread... Isn't it great?" I took another bite of the gross sandwich, chuckling, "You and I are the only civilized people in this place."  
"You're not wrong. It's nice being better than other people. But, that's life. Some are just naturally better than others."  
"Have you ever wanted to smoke? I've never touched a cigarette in my life. I'd love to smoke. Just once..."  
"Aesthetic, huh? Unlike you, I'd rather die of something more interesting than lung cancer."  
"I want to do something bad. Just to know what it feels like."  
"Sometimes I do too."  
"Have you ever wondered what it's like to kill someone?" I instantly regretted saying that. I thought about it all the time, though. Shooting a bullet through someone's skull. Actually killing someone. I'd love to. I'd love to kill the people who killed my parents. I'd love to kill anyone who got in my way. But there was no way I could ever do it.  
"Yes," Sebastian replied, picking at the bread of his half of the sub, "Is it weird that I don't think that killing is bad...? Killing with a reason... it isn't completely awful..."  
"I want to kill the people responsible for my parents' deaths. I agree with you. If someone deserves it, then they should get what they deserve. I thought I was the only person who thought that way. I've been thinking this whole time that it's just some weird mental illness from my trauma."  
"Maybe we're both mentally ill," Sebastian thought for a moment, looking at me with a serious expression, "Or maybe we're the only people that are right." We both sat in silence, reflecting on our thoughts. It was incredibly conceited, but we were right. We both were better than everyone else. We both accepted death. We both understood, agreeing with each other in silence that we knew something that everyone in this down didn't. That couldn't be a coincidence. It was a silent realization, only among us, and we both understood. We didn't say anything else until we were finished eating.  
"We should go back to your place and watch something on Netflix before I have to leave..." I said quietly. He nodded, and began leading me back to his home. I stayed close to him, pressed up against his side when anyone passed us on the narrow sidewalk. We crossed the street, walking slowly across the pavement. It was like we were taunting death to hit us with a car before we could make it to the other side and end up alive. A silent union was made with Sebastian and I. We understood each other. We would be close to each other from now on. Perhaps we were each other's only friends because we were so different. Because we knew. We both knew. And now we weren't afraid to hide our deepest darkest thoughts because we knew. For the first time in my life, I had someone who understood me, and I never wanted to leave his side.


	4. Chapter 4

Have you ever eaten Pico de Gallo flavored Lays potato chips? At first, they're absolutely revolting. Disgusting. They made me want to vomit. But then you keep eating them, and the more you eat them, the more you hate them. And then something happens and eventually they don't taste as bad and you actually like them. The next thing you know, you've eaten half the bag and you loathe yourself. That's how it's like with Sebastian and I. I'm his bag of Pico de Gallo Lays. I don't know what stage he's at with me. But we're past that hatred. At least, I hope so.

That night I got chewed out by my foster parents for being out of the house without their permission. It didn't really matter, I just slept. I couldn't wait to see Sebastian again. Monday I would be able to be near him again. Two more sleeps. Only two. Sunday morning I was forced to church, and the entire time I could only think about Sebastian. There was so much that I wanted to talk to him about. As soon as I got home from church, I locked myself in my room, laying on my bed and thinking about all the things I wanted to discuss with him. I knew that my foster parents would never let me go see him, they already hated him because I actually enjoyed being around him. I was incredibly bored and anxious. My heart beat sped up when I thought about him. He wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't going to lose him.

Getting through the day on Monday was almost impossible and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him at our lunch table. I ran up to him and sat beside him, wrapping my arms loosely around him. I felt his warm embrace and smiled, feeling comfortable.

"I missed you..." I whispered, looking up at him.

"It's only been a day, but I appreciate the affection," Sebastian handed me a small container of food, which I graciously accepted, "How are you feeling?"

"I haven't left my room, I'm in need of some social interaction. You could go insane being alone. Oh my god, Sebastian, I feel so much better. I'm so lonely. Let's do something today after school." I lazily leaned on him, yawning slightly.

"You can come over and eat dinner with me. Mom's going to be at work until late. What time do your foster parents come home?"

"Around seven. I have a lot that I want to share with you. I've never had anyone who I can talk about this kind of stuff with... I probably just sound really annoying."

"I like talking to you. You're not annoying me at all, Ciel," Sebastian replied, "You're acting weird... Did something happen?"

"I am not acting weird. Shut up."

"That's more like it!" Sebastian looked all to happy once again. His stupid smile was actually kind of endearing. The next time that I saw him was math, and I found myself not really paying attention to the boring lesson that I already understood, but watching the back of Sebastian's head. He definitely had hair like his mothers, and it was gorgeous. I watched his posture carefully and saw every little muscle movement made. I liked watching him. He was aesthetically pleasing, that was all. I was left staring at him when the class was over, and as soon as he turned around, I snapped out of my trance and stared down at my paper.

"I think you have tension in your muscles," I grumbled in response. He shrugged, grabbing his stuff and standing, obviously waiting for me to follow. "I'm tired."

"Do you want to nap at my place?"

"I'm always tired..."

"I honestly think you have depression," Sebastian picked up my things for me, and I stared at him for a few moments before standing up and reluctantly following him out of the class.

"I don't think it's depression. I think it's realism," I responded with a snort, "There's nothing wrong with me, asshole."

"I never said that there was anything wrong with you. Look, I've got some antidepressants if you'd like to try them. You need them more than I do... You look miserable, honestly."

"I miss my parents."

"You're always going to. But you can't go back. And I'm sorry."

"You're the only person in this town that I actually like. There's got to be a way for you to get me out of here. We could move to an apartment somewhere... I'm graduating early. We could just... leave..."

"We don't have money to do that. We don't even have a vehicle."

"When I turn eighteen I'm getting my parent's inheritance."

"You're sixteen."

"That's only two years. I just can't... I can't stay where I'm at now. It's unbecoming of me!"

"You're sad."

"I'm angry and powerful."

"You're tiny and sad."

"Shut up."

"You're rude, tiny, and sad," Sebastian added with a smirk, leading me out of the school and down the street. I couldn't wait to lay down on something comfortable and tell Sebastian all about my plans and my views. It was nice to know that he felt the same way about things as I did. Maybe that was why he was an outcast? As soon as we got inside his house I kicked off my shoes and ran up into his room, throwing my stuff on the floor and plopping down on his bed. The sheets smelled like him, and the aroma was relaxing. He was only a few seconds behind me, laying beside me with ease.

"Why don't other people see things like we do?" I asked, looking at him with a hint of disgust in my voice.

"Because they just aren't like us, I guess," Sebastian replied.

"We should do something. I don't know what, but we should do something together. You and I. Something that only we can do. We should kill someone. I want to kill someone. I want to kill the people who killed my parents. You'll do that with me, right? I want them all dead. I want them to suffer. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? They all did something wrong, so why not kill them? It only makes sense. We could become powerful. I want to do that. Is that crazy? Am I crazy?" Maybe I was wrong. Perhaps he didn't think the same as I did. He probably didn't. He thought I was crazy. I could see it in his eyes.

"You're not crazy. You're revenge obsessed. Did the people who killed your parents not go to jail? Even then, they shouldn't be allowed to live. Others don't understand that life is a privilege. Have you come to your senses, Ciel? Have you realized that government and order in this world is bullshit? Democracy is a business. They're all corrupt. You do realize that, right? So of course the people who killed your powerful wealthy parents will not be charged with anything. Perhaps they were paid to kill them. You're living proof that they didn't do it right. All they managed to do to you was make you angry and seal their death certificate."

"Why don't we find them and kill them? Sebastian, I have to do this. I need your help. I have to kill them. I have to... I have to show them that I am more superior to them and there is no one to go and save them, because that's how I felt... I want to to torture them. I want to. So badly."

"You can't do it now, Ciel," Sebastian paused, "Before you can get revenge for your parents, you have to get revenge for yourself. You're being abused. You have a damaged eye. Fight for those reasons. Leave the dead for last."

"It's gone."

"Huh?"

"My eye. It's gone. It's disgusting."

"So that's why you sleep with your eyepatch on," Sebastian looked at me curiously, running one of his hands through my hair, "Let me see. I bet it's beautiful and unique, just like you." I squirmed a little bit, pulling off the stupid black piece of fabric to reveal the hell underneath. I expected Sebastian to flinch, or look disgusted, but he just lightly stroked my cheek.

"Sebastian, stop."

"You look so different without your eyepatch."

"Stop. This is weird..."

"What's weird is that you've been hiding your true appearance since you lost your eye. Why must you cover it up?"

"It's an empty hole where my eye should be... I have to hide it... It's not socially acceptable."

"Why do you hate your body?"

"Stop asking me these questions."

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"Yes."

"Why? You could have just put your eyepatch back on. Admit it, you're just nervous."

"Why would I be nervous?"

"That's simple, Ciel. You have feelings for me."

"What would make you think that I, a wealthy soon-to-be business man would ever have feelings for someone like you?!"

"I can hear it in your voice, I can see it in your facial expression, I can tell."

"I fucking hate you," I growled, not wanting to continue the conversation. I turned away from him, closing my eye. I could feel his warm embrace around my waist and I remained still.

"I hate you too," he whispered, pressing his thin lips to the top of my head. I remained silent and still, controlling my breathing until I fell asleep. It was odd that I was so comfortable with him being so close to me as I slept. I trusted him. Or maybe I wanted him to kill me. I wouldn't mind if it was him who killed me. Maybe it would be better if he killed me now.

He didn't kill me. I woke up right beside him, snuggled into him comfortably. It was so warm and it reminded me of home. I never wanted to leave. "Sebastian...?"

"You're awake?"

"Mm, yeah... I'm still... tired," I rolled over and snuggled into his chest, needing the closeness, "Don't say anything. I just need some physical interaction that isn't painful. Just don't say anything." Sebastian's embrace on me tightened and we laid there, silent, for a long time. He was so gentle, and he didn't question me. It was wonderful, truly. "Do you think that I'm going to die prematurely?"

"That's a strange thing to ask... I don't think you'll live extremely long. You're very small, and your mental state is iffy... Also, your body is severely damaged. Why do you care?"

"The sooner the better," I answered, breathing in Sebastian's scent, "I don't want to go home... I hate it there. They hate me... They hate me and they don't understand me. They expect me to just get over my parents' deaths. From day one! They only really have me around for cleaning, I think. No one else wanted to adopt some teenage rich kid..."

"Live with me. You can eat whatever you'd like and my mom loves you, I don't think she'd mind at all," Sebastian's long, thin, fingers were so gentle in my hair, I could die, "You need to tell someone that they're hurting you. I won't betray your trust by telling someone behind your back, but still... Let me see."

"No. I don't want you seeing that."

"Do you not trust me?"

"They're just bruises. Get over it... I'm starving. Can we get something to eat?"

"Fine," Sebastian sat up, with a sigh. I rolled off his bed, lazily tying my eyepatch back on and we went down to his kitchen. I sat down and watched him. He grabbed his phone, quickly checking to see if he had any texts, then attached it to some really nice looking speakers. "Is Fall Out Boy alright with you?" he asked, looking up at me, waiting to start playing the song. I nodded, and yawned, stretching lazily. I really loved Fall Out Boy, but it was obvious that Sebastian liked them a lot more than I did. He grew up on it, while I had only started listening to them after Save Rock and Roll. He and his mother definitely had the same taste in music. It was amusing; they were so close to each other. Would I have been like that with my parents if they were still alive?

" When I'm home alone I just dance by myself

And you pull my head so close volume goes with the truth

Signing off 'I'm alright in bed but I'm better with the pen'

The kid was alright but it went to his head "

I'd never heard this before, it must have been old. But Sebastian loved it, he practically danced around the kitchen, grabbing left overs and putting them in the microwave to warm them.

" I am god's gift

But why would he bless me with such wit without a conscience equipped?

I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you,

There's too much green to feel blue "

I chuckled at the sight of him enjoying himself. However, I was caught off guard when he approached me and grabbed my hands, pulling him into the dance. I really couldn't dance at all, but it wasn't too terrible. I rolled my eyes at me as we continued dancing throughout the song, but he ignored me, continuing to serenade me to some strange Fall Out Boy song that I'd never heard before. When the song ended, he let go of my hands. "What song was that, O' Grunge King?"

"Fame Infamy by Fall Out Boy on Infinity on High, you tasteless music listener. Let the great Grunge King raise you in the ways of music. Fall Out Boy is good. Except, Save Rock and Roll is only fair. And American Beauty, American Psycho, is literal pop. Stay away from that. Stick to the good ninety's and two thousand's music. Pop is disgusting and you have to be brainless to listen to hundreds of songs all about sex and women and breasts and money and getting laid. Please, listen to real music and not all of this disgusting mainstream bullshit," Sebastian's voice was full of desperation and I couldn't help but laugh at him. At least he didn't only listen to one band. He had several posters of Nirvana, Blink-182, Pearl Jam, and Panic! At the Disco. I liked some of those bands, really just Panic... But Sebastian was obsessed with all of that type of music. I think if you said only one line of a song, he'd be able to continue all the way through until the end of the song. It was... endearing.

"You're an emo piece of shit and you know it," I replied, lightly punching his arm, "You just told me to listen to real music. You're literally one of those annoying kids who only listens to My Chemical Romance. Fuck, and I thought you were the Grunge King."

"I don't listen to them very much at all."

"So you do listen to My Chemical Romance, huh? You're such an emo kid. I love it," I slipped past him and grabbed the food out of the microwave, happily eating some delicious delicacies made my Sebastian's amazing mother. I could eat her cooking and nothing else for the rest of my life and be happy.

"I feel like before you moved here, you were the biggest prep."

"Did you just call me a prep? No one says that anymore, Sebastian."

"And here I thought you were a cool boy with a small amount of good music. Damn."

"I'll admit, I do dress like a rich kid. Mainly because I am one. And you, Sebastian, you only wear black. Do you have any other color of clothing? I'm surprised you haven't dyed your hair and gotten a ton of piercings yet."

"I'm not ruining my beautiful hair with chemicals. Also, how do you know that I don't have piercings?"

"I haven't seen any."

"Perhaps I'm not wearing any... Maybe they're in places not visible at present..."

"If you pierced your dick I'm leaving."

"I assure you, I haven't. Unless you'd like to check and see for yourself."

"Keep it in your pants, you raging emo."

"I do have a piercing, I'm just too lazy to put it in at present. I also have a tattoo."

"Your mother let you get a tattoo?"

"Did you really have to ask that question?" Sebastian smiled, and I fondly thought of how his mother was so willing of letting him do things that normal parents would frown on.

"Eat something, emo boy. If you don't, I'm going to start suspecting you of having anorexia. Then again, your muscles are rather large..."

"Oh, so that's why you were staring at them in class. Do you think that they're hot?"

"First you want me to see your dick, now you think that I think that your body is attractive? Do you have a crush on me, Sebastian?"

"It was a simple question."

"You're aesthetically pleasing to my eye, yes."

"And you're accusing me of liking you?" Sebastian chuckled, ruffling my hair and grabbing his own container of left over food, "I think you're the one in denial here." He took his meal to the couch, plopping down and eating slowly. I sat down beside him and rolled my eyes. He was so dumb. I couldn't help but hate him in the most friendly way. He was total trash, yet I was the only one who could remind him of that.


End file.
